A dear friend, that I don’t see often enough, lost her daughter a year ago today. Her daughter fought a long brave struggle with bone cancer and my Mom and my friend got to know each other through advice about treatments and comfort. My heart goes out to her and I stopped on her page to leave a memory of her daughter. And it got me to thinking… I don’t know the loss of a child, I only know how much it hurts to lose a parent or sibling. My mom and brother passed away within four months of each other last year and I think of them every day.
So, this is what I have learned. If you know someone who has lost someone extremely dear to them, please DO NOT believe that talking about their loved one will make it “worse”, unless they have said so. The only thing “worse” than losing them is when it seems like the family is the only one who still thinks of them and remembers them. I love to have people talk to me about my mom and my brother, and share a story with me. It tells me they lived and they were loved, and they made a difference. It helps to keep that picture in my mind from getting faded at the edges. Please don’t let your worries about not knowing what to say stop you from saying anything. Let them know you think of their loved one and that they mattered.
I pray my friend finds comfort today.